Perfection, Recognition, Control
by Altra
Summary: Rather dark. Deals with unsettling disorders, could be R. POV's of Draco, Cho, and Ginny. Nothing to do with romance. New, Chapter 2.
1. Three Little Secrets

A/N: I suggest that you read this story somewhat slower then you would usually read a fic, it is rather info filled.  
  
Perfection, Recognition, Control  
  
  
Stars swirling, shrinking, sparkling. A cloud would softly slip into the scene, only to be ushered aside. Sweet blue lights hinted at their corners, sparking interest within the young eyes which watched so intently. Dancing in elegant circles, spinning into small orbs, creating time, shifting light.  
  
Below the enchanting ceiling sat a great many children, dressed in robes of black, chatting amongst themselves. A single pair of ice blue eyes would flicker as a star danced, pulling him along, Unconsciously, his pale fingers would brush soft silver strands of hair from his face. The stars glittered, silently acknowledging the pleas of many, gently sweeping into new spirals. The blue eyes slid from star to star, examining each, in awe of such perfection they reflected.  
  
"Drakie you've barely touched your food!" Shattering his concentration, the boy pulled his head up from its leaning position. He scowled at the girl tugging on his sleeve.  
  
"I'm not hungry," he growled. Her brown eyes filled with tears. Ashamed, she averted her attention to her own dinner. With disgust, Draco pushed his plate away. Pulling a roll of bread from a nearby basket, he mumbled something about not being hungry. Standing, he walked from the Great Hall, tearing the roll in half. He eyed the halves, weighing them in his hands. His wandering feet led him to the lake, shimmering under the nighttime sky. Nodding to himself, he threw half of the roll into the lake. Taking the smaller half in both hands, he tore it apart again, repeating the process of weighing, tossing the larger half into the lake. Blackness enveloped the white bread, penetrating every pore. Tendrils of water pulled the roll down. Draco glared at the small piece of bread still in his hand, as though daring it to grow.  
  
"Three calories... how the hell do those house-elves fit three calories into a single roll?" he questioned, his low voice dark with anger. Cautiously, Draco placed the small piece of bread in his mouth, forcing himself to swallow it. His stomach growled in fierce protest, his slender body breaking out in shudders.  
  
Surpressing a cry of pain, Draco fell to his knees, arms wrapped tightly around his thin torso. He clenched his eyes closed, feeling the pain begin to subside.  
  
Pain gone, he stood, taking one last glance at the stars, and walked back to his dormitory.  
  
***  
  
Laughter rang from all corners of the Great Hall, sounds of friends, sounds of enemies. Laughter resided within a young girl. Laughter haunted her. Flaming hair would slide across her cheeks, hiding the pained eyes. Chocolate brown eyes stung with uncried tears. People talked around her, but none to her. Whispers and screams, all around her. Quickly finishing her food, her slim fingers reached for the pudding, of which she gobbed large amounts onto her golden plate. The girl beside her squeaked with protest.  
  
"Ginny, you mustn't eat so much! It's rather disgusting, don't you agree honey?" A young girl, dark hair in a plait, looked towards her red-head companion.  
  
"Parvati's right, Gin. You'll turn into a little pig," the freckled boy replied, before turning back to his own food. Blushing deeply, Ginny placed her golden fork down upon the satin table cloth. Excusing herself, knowing no one heard, she hurried out of the Great Hall, tears streaming down her cheeks, leaving red trails upon her pale skin. Her feet followed the familiar path, leading her down corridors and stairs. Pausing before an old, battered door, Ginny brushed wetness from her face. Sliding her hand along the door knob, she entered, eyes darting from each stall, seeking any other people.  
  
"Hello?" she said, voice soft. When no answer was made, Ginny entered the final stall, shaking with energy. Sweat formed on her brow as she locked the door, and knelt before the toilet. A familiar feeling burned in the back of her throat. Her mind ran through thoughts which she herself directed in hopes of ignoring what her body was doing. Shivering, she flushed the toilet repeatedly, wiping her mouth with the other hand. Sitting upon the ground, she placed her head between her knees, watching her tears fall to the ground. Slowly, rocking back and forth, she buried her hands in her hair. When tears fell no more she stood, tightening the sash around her waist, before unlocking the stall and leaving the bathroom.  
  
***  
  
Eyes. Hundreds of eyes tracked her motions, watching faults. Glares from some, pity from others, tears from some. Smiles were false, laughter dead, words meaningless, friends pointless. Gliding upon glass, the girl sat in her usual seat. Delicate, fragile, broken, cold. Whispers of such words swirled her thoughts.  
  
Staring increased as each pair of eyes apologized, sympathized, pitied. More eyes. More words. More pretend. Almond skin set amongst dark tresses, brown eyes. She avoided the silent looks of teachers and friends. She watched as a silver-haired boy took shaken steps from the Great Hall, going through great pain to hide them. She watched as a red-haired girl stumbled from the room, tears in her eyes. She watched as people left the room, avoiding the eyes of those questioning, ignoring the glares of those who hated.  
  
"Cho, I'm so sorry," a voice would cry.  
  
"I understand what you're going through," a teacher would say.  
  
"I'm always here," a friends would whisper. Her protests went unheard, her pleas forgotten, her tears all cried. Abruptly, she stood, softly padding from the room, a set destination in mind. Steering herself through hallways and corridor. Cho would ignore the eyes which watched, the pain that tore, the words that burned, out of control. Soft moonlight bathed the deck of the Astronomy Tower. Soft whispers couldn't be heard, glares couldn't be seen, just moonlight and stars.  
  
In the corner, a torn box resided, though the moonlight didn't touch it. Crossing the platform in a few short strides, she opened the small box, fingers grasping a rough, wooden hilt. Pulling it from the box, a blade glistened under the pale light. A sweet smile flitted across her perfect face, casting an unusual spectacle. She placed the blade against her arm, watching as trails of crimson blood slid down her arm, slipping between her fingers. Again and again she cut, ignoring her minds' cry, focusing only on the pain. Sighing, she placed the blade back inside the box. Pulling a white hankerchief from a pocket, she dabbed the cuts, before placing it back inside her robes, and headed for her dorm.  
  
***  
  
A golden sun bathed the Great Hall, children in black ate quickly, while speaking to one another. A slim, blonde boy hesitantly ate a small pill, glancing at his plate.   
  
"Ten calories... stupid vitamins... ten calories," he muttered, pushing the plate away.  
  
"Hey Malfoy, quit your mumbling! Let's go to potions already," a thickboned boy said impatiently. Anger in him, Draco stood. A wave of weakness came over him, his vision blurred. His pale body shook.  
  
Slowly, his vision cleared, the shakes slowed, his strength returned. Ignoring the fat boy's grumbles, Draco passed him, instead going to the lake, a small packet of treats from him mother in hand. He sneered at passing students, smirked at certain teachers. Reaching the lake, his face went blank. Ripples gently caressed the surface, yet the murky depths below lay hidden, secret from the world.  
  
"For perfection," he whispered, tossing the sweets into the lake.  
  
"For perfection."  
  
***  
  
A small red-haired girl glanced about the crowded room. The food before her lost it's appeal. Slim waists, thin faces, petite bodies all around. she glanced down at herself, blushing with embarrassment.  
  
"100 pounds... and I'm only five and a half feet tall. I'm so fat," she whispered gently. Laughter rang out from the other side of her, yet Ginny knew the boy beside her hadn't heard what she said. He laughed with his friends, Ginny tried her best to ignore it. She quickly ate the second helpings of food she had, before walking from the Great Hall, to the broken bathroom. Nervousness increased in her, pulling her legs faster.  
  
Halting before the battered door again, she paused to catch her breath before walking in.  
  
"Is anyone here?" she called out, voice echoing off the walls. When only silence remained, she slipped into the final stall, locking the door in a swift motion. She knelt before the toilet, preparing to gag herself.  
  
"For recognition, for a model's body," she whispered.  
  
"For recognition."  
  
***  
  
"I'm so sorry!"  
  
"Oh my God, I'm really sorry!"  
  
"I've always got a shoulder!"  
  
"I know how you feel!"  
  
Cho scrambled from the Great Hall, though apologies seemed to follow. She ran to the Astronomy Tower, her control lost again. Fending off concerned looks, ignoring pitting eyes. She ran past ghosts, students, classrooms, and doors.  
  
"Faster," she muttered. Black sleeves slid up her arm, revealing the scabs which criss-crossed her arms. Dashing up the stairs, she flew to the torn box, flinging the lid away. The knife sparkled, though patches of dried blood tarnished the blade.  
  
She placed the cold metal against her tanned skin. Increasing pressure, warm blood slid along her arm.  
  
"Control," she whispered.  
  
"Finally I can control."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A/N: Those who didn't read the fic slowly are probably going...  
WHAT?  
Here's a sum up:  
Draco = anorexic  
Ginny = bulimic  
Cho = self mutilation.  
You doubt the symptoms of anorexia or S.M, well then, you obviously don't know me or my friends. Please R/R! I never get any reviews!  
  



	2. One by One

  
  


**One by One**  
By Altra  
  


  


Sighing, the boy drummed his finger upon the marble table, waiting for his cauldron to boil. His slender fingers rhythmically hit the table, creating a soft lullaby to his ears.   
  
Slowly, he began to rock back and forth to the rhythm, eyelids dropping. In the back of his mind he saw the stars dancing, begging him to follow. Black slipped over his eyes, as he spun along with the stars.   
  
  
***  
  
  
Smiling, she brushed a strand of shocking red hair from her sleeve. Being in the dueling club at the time, she placed her quill against the crisp parchment, noting certain curses, discarding others.  
  
"Mrs. Weasley, would you kindly come up here? I'd like to demonstrate to disarming spell," a crisp voice slid into Ginny's ears.   
  
"Okay Professor." Ginny walked to the front of the class, face a brilliant scarlet shade. She stood before the stern professor, wand held before her.  
  
"Expelleramus!" the woman cried. Ginny felt her wand fly from her hand, her body giving a violent shake, before falling into darkness, with laughter ringing in her ears.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Face blank, a dark-haired girl stumbled from the showers, towel wrapped around her body.  
  
Unaware of the other occupants of the girls Quidditch locker room, her scar riddled arms could be seen, angry red circles forming around them. Breathing in deeply, she tried her best to keep the nausea at bay.  
  
With a small cry, she crumpled to the ground, now aware of the eyes as a soft calm overtook her.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Frozen eyes forced themselves open, sparkling stars slipping away. Turning his head, a feathery pillow crinkled under his head, silver-blonde hair plastered against his scalp. Burning heat seared through him, his body unconsciously shaking. Light burst through an unsheathed window, causing the blue eyes to squint, the owner muffling curses. Exhaustion seeped into his bones, pale limbs shaking worse then before.  
  
"Mister Malfoy, would you like some chocolate?" a stern voice asked, a twinge of care inserted.  
  
Closing his eyes, the pale boy shook his head, a small smile on his lips as the stars danced again.   
  
  
***  
  
  
"Miss Weasley? Virginia dear, are you all right?" Red hair sprawled out, surrounding a young girls head. A woman, dark hair in a severe bun, hovered anxiously. Cautious brown eyes slowly opened, though a feeling of sickness rose in her throat.  
  
"What happened?" she whispered. The rough, coarse voice, sounded foreign to her ears.   
  
"Enough! Professor McGonagall, Miss Weasley needs her rest!" A voice, ever so familiar, snapped.  
  
Standing, the Professor cast her student one last look before leaving. Sleep called to her, softly whispering words so sweet. Another woman appeared over her, graying hair pulled back in a clip.  
  
"My dear, when did you last eat?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.   
  
"Breakfast," she muttered. Sickness rose in her throat again.   
  
"Do you have an eating disorder Miss Weasley?" the woman questioned. Ginny couldn't keep the surprise from her face. Nausea rose again. Sleep screamed for her. She responded, drifting along, though laughter followed.   
  
  
***  
  
  


She felt herself floating, she heard voices weeping, pain licking her hands. Liquid fire seeped into her veins, churning her bones. Voices grew louder, the pain subsided. Hesitantly, dark eyes opened, seeing many others in the bright room. Opening her mouth, the sand paper raw feeling of air against her throat nauseated her to no end.   
  
An itch spread across her cuts, as a small tingle.  
  
"Miss Chang, would you like some water?" Turning her head, Cho focused on the woman addressing her. Nodding slowly, she felt the sickness rising again. Whispers flitted about her, as eyes focused. Cho wished herself to disappear. A voice boomed for the eyes to leave. Satisfied and lone, dark tresses traversed across the almond skin, dark eyes closed.   
  
  
***  
  
  
"Madam Pomfrey, I believe you have a topic to discuss?"   
  
A gray-haired woman stood up in silent acknowledgment. Deep purple robes fit her frame, a unique aura it created. Solemn face held no sign of the usual happiness felt throughout the staff meetings. The teachers shifted under the scrutiny of the matron, sending questioning looks towards Albus.   
  
"As you should know, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Weasley, and Miss Chang are currently in the Hospital Wing," she began.   
  
"Madam, if you feel in necessary to restate what we already know, could you at least save it until _after_ the meeting is over?" a voice came, drenched with boredom. A well aimed glare silence the protester.   
  
"Pardon, I didn't know that an anorexic, bulimic, and a cutter are of no importance," Madam Pomfrey snapped.   
  
"What?!" Snape yelled, slamming his hands upon the cedar desk as he rose.   
  
"Severus, calm down. Let me explain." Hesitantly, the Potions Master sat. "Mr. Malfoy is far below a healthy weight for his height. A male, nearly six feet tall, should _not_ weigh 98 pounds."  
  
Chaos erupted. Teachers got to their feet, expressing disbelief and anger.  
  
"Silence!" Albus commanded, getting to his feet. "We shall discuss this is a sane and rational manner. There will be no more interruptions." The professors blushed, ashamed at their childish antics.   
  
"Mr. Malfoy is an anorexic, and there is Miss Weasley, whom I've diagnosed as a bulimic. Upon questioning her friends, it appears that Miss Weasley eats plenty of food, the usually goes to the bathroom. Myrtle told me that Miss Weasley had indeed been vomiting her meals in the bathroom. I'm afraid that Miss Chang turned to self mutilation. If I am not mistaken, Professor Sinstra found a bloodied knife on the Astronomy deck." The room was silent, distant bird calls could just be heard.   
  
"Why are they in the Hospital Wing unconscious?" Professor Sprout questioned, the sleeves of her robes rolled.   
  
"Mr. Malfoy fainted due to lack of carbohydrates in his system. Miss Weasley suffers from shock, having a curse sent at her as a demonstration. Miss Chang's cuts have become infected."   
  
"Plan of action?" a voice questioned.   
  
"That is what also needs to be addressed. I think that the three should attend the Institute for Young Magically Ill Persons," Madam Pomfrey said. Tapping her wand against the desk, a handbook with the name of the facility scrawled upon the cover.   
  
"But the Institute also allows non-humans in. What risks..." Professor McGonagall asked. Wisps of hair slipped out of her bun, which once was severe, now loose.   
  
"There are no risks. All potentially violent persons are under watch. Vampires are well fed, werewolves under wolfsbane, elves and dwarves separated, etcetera, etcetera."   
  


"What about schooling?" Professor Flitwick squeaked.   
  
"The Institute runs not only a recovery program, but also a magical instruction course. Many non-humans are sent there mainly for the training, thought for Vampires and werewolves, the added bonus' are very much welcomed."   
  
"Do many humans attend?" Madam Pomfrey mentally slapped the questioner. _The one flaw,_ she thought.   
  
"No, very few," she hesitated, glancing towards Dumbledore.   
  
"But wouldn't that pose a threat to the three? Being an adolescent is bad enough, with a disorder is even worse, but to be living among potentially dangerous non-humans? Wouldn't that do more harm than good?" Professor McGonagall questioned. Madam Pomfrey shifted from foot to foot, a feeling of shame rising in her.   
  
"It-it will help us all," she murmured after a while.   
  
"What do you mean?" Professor Flitwick squeaked.   
  
"The children will get the help they need..." she trailed off, uncertainty painted upon her face.   
  
"And get rid of the problem they pose to the rest of the student body at the same time?" Professor Snape stood slowly, letting his comment take full effect. "We all know that is the reason for the haste in this matter." Silently, his dark form padded from the room.   
  
One by one, the other teachers rose, grim, shamed, demoralized. One by one, they voted in support. One by one, they stole from the room. One by one, they turned away.   
  
  
_____

A/N: I know I wrote this story a long time ago, but the format was horrible, and I only recently discovered this. Most of the reviews I got were from people with some experience with one of the diseases in this fic. I'd just like to stress how important it is to get help; whether it be from a friend or a teacher or whoever. You might not mean to injure yourself, but it could happen. Anyway, I'm in no position to lecture, only advise.  
  



End file.
